A Glorp History Chapter 1: World War Chew!

image

Have you ever flown a fighter plane during WWII? Have you ever wanted to? Is the answer yes? If so, you might have been one of the first Americans to try delicious GLORP Gum!

 

imageOriginal1951 Glorp gum vending card from a US army base during the Korean war.

Originally created as a treatment for motion sickness in German fighter pilots, this medicinal wonder gum was brought “kicking and screaming” to US shores by brave American soldiers during a German U-boat attack in 1942. It was there, on a fiery bombed out German ship, hidden beneath a pile of Kohl Moder (fermented cabbage bread), that they found a cowardly German scientist by the name of Magnus Von Tiesenhausen, along with his two prized German Sheppards, Keinvetizienz, and Schreckschraubeflammenwerfer.

image

Magnus Von Tiesenhausen and his dogs

It didn’t take long for ol’ Magnus to roll over on his Nazi pals and reveal many invaluable German military secrets, such as the V-2 combat rocket, V-8 encapsulated plant beverage technology, and a recipe for a little something called  “furzen gummibaum.”  This chewable wonder pellet was a perfect solution to the growing problem of airsickness among many US fighter pilots.

image

WWII bomber jacket patch.

Known to most US fighter pilots as “the Glorps,” airsickness was a constant enemy in the new arena of WWII air combat. Phrases like “Don’t let the Glorps getcha’,” “Keep your spirits up by keeping the Glorps down,” and “Barfing in a plane sucks bloody Hitler balls” found their way onto soldier’s planes, jackets, and patches. Even US scientists referred to Formula XR74 as “the Glorp gum.” Just like Hitler’s pathetic piss soaked carcass, It was meant to be!

image

Pilots show off their customized jacket art.

As popular as “The Glorp Gum” became with pilots, it was quickly found to be less than .04% effective in preventing most cases of airsickness. However, the formula had already gone into intensive production across the country. Rather than admit a mistake, the government decided to explore additional products to aid the gum in wartime success.  

 image

Pilot wearing his “Super Absorbent T-shirt” in 1952

By the time the Korean War came along, pilots were issued a specially designed “Super Absorbent T-shirt” to help the gum with it’s “one, two, punch” to knock out motion sickness in US airmen, and give them a much needed burst of energy (and flavor!)

image

A pilot prepares for war with his Super Absorbent T-shirt and Glorp Gum

T-shirts were already popular among soldiers, and many fighter pilots saw the Glorp Gum T-Shirts as a good luck charm. Glorp Gum T-Shirts became so popular that many army bases installed vending machines to distribute Glorp Gum and T-shirts to non-air combat soldiers. If you were in the air, or on the ground there was always a way to “keep the Glorp Gum Ghoul at bay”.

image

Original “Super Absorbent T-Shirt” and Formula XR74 pellet from 1951.

Would Glorp Gum fade away after its amazing wartime victory? Would the popular fad of the “T-shirt” ever catch on? You’ll have to wait until next month for all these answers, and more, in A Glorp History, Chapter 2: Chew-In, Turn-On, and Glorp-Out!

Here’s a little peek:

  1. glorpgum posted this